Undeniable Love

I Knew:

I'd had surgery to piece together a shattered shoulder
I'd come home Sunday afternoon
Monday morning I couldn't breath
I had been in the emergency room
they hurriedly put me on oxygen
they said I had pneumonia
only 2/3 of one lung functioned
they'd given me more and more oxygen
I was worsening
I felt agitated
scared
I Didn't Know:
how I got to the hospital
I'd blacked out or gone into a coma, or both
they'd admitted me to ICU
they'd called Nettie in to make dire decisions
how many phone calls she and Freddie shared over three days
the doctors were alarmed to discover it wasn't pneumonia
tests negated an embolism
the doctors suspected ARDS
I'd been intubated
the doctors told the kids to be prepared for the worst
how this news affected them
what they felt
how much I wanted to live
I Felt:
groggy as from a deep sleep
a light, gentle, inviting stroking on my forehead
my eyes open
I Saw:
eyes surging limitless tenderness
a smile warming the 3" of air between us
a face radiating unspeakable words
I Heard:
the hushed, sweet words, "Hey, you"
I Sensed:
an undeniable love
I Accept:
there may never be more
it's all good